the stuff life is made of

Leonard Cohen

2010-10-03T08:13:00.001+01:00

Leonard Cohen turned 76 last week, so I decided to do a homage to the man who is, to me, the most talented songwriter within living memory.

Many people don't like him / appreciate him because they think he is depressing. I would argue that while he is meloncollie, his lyrics are filled with a spiritual romance towards pain. I think he finds beauty in the dichotomy of living, and for me his music is sad, but hopeful.

I recently watched a documentary about him called "I'm Your Man", which had an interesting feature: several eminent musicians (including.... Bono...) did covers of his songs. Anthony from Anthony and the Johnsons does a masterful version of "If it be your will" (one of my personal favourites). If you're not a Lenny fan, it's worth listening to this and to Jeff Buckley's version of "Hallelujah", to ascertain whether it's Cohen's music or his voice that doesn't agree with you.

And for something a little different, musician / DJ / friend Dance Pig did this awesome remix of "Here it is". (Check out more of Dance Pig's stuff at www.dancepig.com)

Here are the Lenny originals, and a few more favourites:

"If it be Your Will" (1984)
"Hallelujah" (1984)
"Master Song" (1967)
"Who by Fire" (1974)
"A Thousand Kisses Deep" (2001)
"Alexandra Leaving" (2001)
"In My Secret Life" (2001)
"In the Chelsea Hotel" (1974)
"Here it is" (2001)

Check out the full documentary "I'm Your Man" here.

It's probably clear by now that I'm a fan ;)

Back!

2010-03-04T05:33:00.003Z

Hello everyone,

It's been a long time since I wrote! When I was blogging consistently I think it was a means of processing confusing thoughts and emotions, since coming back from India I haven't felt the desire to blog. I feel clearer.

Bizarrely, before I even realised this change in myself, I noticed an external change. I've always been a really messy person (MESSY - not dirty!), but from the moment I came back from India, I noticed that I suddenly, almost effortlessly, had become tidy. THere were no piles of clothes around my room, or stacks of papers by my desk. I would love to be very practical about this, and say that living out of a backpack with no personal space for three months taught me how to organise myself, but I went backpacking around South East Aisa several years ago, and came back just as messy as before ;)

Anyway, it's not my intention here to tell you about what I learnt in India (as fascinating as that was). What I HAVE come here to do, is tell you that I have some new blogs which I'd love you guys to follow, if you are interested!

The first is a film review blog, called "Barks on Film". As you may know, I'm a film maker, and this blog gives quite analytical and fair reviews of old films and new releases. Check out my damning review of "Precious" here: http://barksonfilm.blogspot.com/

The second is a personal blog, where I post things that interest me - human interest stories, or random funny tidbits of news. If you likes "The Stuff Life is made of" I think you will like this: http://yolandabarkerfilmmaker.blogspot.com/

Thank you all for following me over the last few years, and I hope to connect with you all again on my new blogs.

Peace and love,

yola xx

a little thing i've learnt about love

2009-07-19T13:41:00.002+01:00

stop looking at yourself as a person who needs to be gratified,

and start looking at yourself as a life

that loves to be shared.

from india with love

2009-03-15T09:31:00.001Z

thanks for all the comments everyone :) in india at the moment and will write a proper post in a while... a lot of new thoughts and ideas!

one love!

men, women and worrying

2009-03-05T17:38:00.003Z

i recently heard an interview on the radio with an author about the teenage years, teenage depression etc. He reckoned that while teenage years are difficult for most people, that are harder for females, because females have a tendency to worry more.

now, whatever about teenage depression, i do think that women are probably more prone to anxiety, and are more likely to think 'what if', whereas men are more like: 'this happened and now there's going to be a sequence of events'.

but i dont think it actually has to do with gender. i think it has to do with how the person's parents parented them as a child. in general, when a child does something wrong, parents seem to tell boys that they must behave in a particular way in future, and tell girls that they should have done things differently. this gives rise to many men repressing their emotions, and many women being neurotic about what they have done wrong in any given situation.

TWO GLASSES OF RED WINE

2009-03-01T14:31:00.001Z

Something else to share...
:)

TWO GLASSES OF RED WINE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of red wine.........

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, without speaking he picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full of golf balls? They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was
full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the
jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two glasses of red wine from under the
table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the
empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

Now, said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends,
and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and
only they remained, your life would still be full.'

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'There is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you
spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have
room for the things that are important to you.'

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you
that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a
couple of glasses of red wine with a friend.'

Share this with a friend, I just did.

2009-02-25T19:49:00.001Z

"He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise."

~ William Blake

Keep loving life as it lives through you.

the life script

2009-02-24T22:12:00.009Z

some people call it 'patterns'. others call it 'bad luck'. but in psychology (the study of the mind and mental processes, especially in relation to behavior*), a term was coined to describe and scientifically explain what many people believe is an outside force, or a fundamental flaw in their personality. it is called "the life script".

i was going to attempt to write about this myself, but then i found this great article which i've summarised and added to.

Life script is the idea that we tend to have an unconscious life plan - like a story - that we make up as children about ourselves and about what's possible for our lives, which we tend to keep to and follow even when we are adults. It is mostly complete by the age of seven. To some degree though, it is an ongoing process of a self-defining, and sometimes self-limiting, psychological construction of reality.

The life plan is built by the child to make sense out of the world and to protect them from pain. In response to family and cultural messages, a child will make conclusive decisions about their character, how they relate to certain kinds of people, and the world at large. These decisions become a subconscious map that the individual unconsciously follows throughout their life.

Because these decisions are based on the child's limited information and processing skills, the map, or plan, can become self-limiting in adult life. we might keep choosing situations and people that hurt us, because we believe that's all we can hope for. in a less drastic way, it might mean we don't take up opportunities even if they are there, because they are outside our script.

think about how you expected your life to turn out as a teenager. Some people think that they will never meet anybody (a script decision about being alone) or they expect to do well in the world or in relationships. some people's script allow for more happiness than others. We can classify scripts in three different categories: winners, losers and banal scripts. A winner's script allows for the person who designed it to get what he or she wants in the end eg. someone might think as a child that one day they will be happily married and they fulfill this expectation in their lifetime. Loser scripts are those that end up with the person who lives them not getting what they want. A banal script is one which is built on mediocrity, nothing much is gained and nothing much lost.

how people seem on the surface is often no indicator of the script they may have written about themselves. there's a tension between the conscious and unconscious forces in a person's psyche, and people often have a conscious idea of who they are, which is completely different to who they fundamentally believe they are. you know those people that you meet that seem to have so much to offer, and yet they just can't get a break? these people may appear to be positive and upbeat, but you can bet that deep inside they believe that they are a loser. somewhere along the way, they made a decision that they had to hide this belief about themselves.

but no matter how someone seems on the surface, the buried issues always surface in some aspect of their life - often the same area, over and over again. your life will always eventually go in the direction of the deeply ingrained beliefs you have about yourself.

the article says that people follow their life scripts because they make life seem predictable. it makes sense that we would try to have control over something as tenuous as life, but it makes me think of a housefly trying to escape through a closed window. it keeps banging against the glass until it stuns itself, or finally cops on that it can't get out. and it's ironic, because in following an unconscious script, life still seems totally out of our control.

Whatever type of script you have written for yourself as a child, even if it is a winning script, it is still a pattern of thinking and behaving in the world which restricts your options. The ideal is to become script free, or autonomous. Autonomy is behaving, thinking or feeling in direct response to here and now reality rather than reacting to things based on your baggage. Autonomy is manifested by the release or recovery of three capacities: awareness, spontaneity and intimacy.

once you know what your unconscious life plan is you can change it. What seemed a generalized truth about life then might not be true for you anymore today. Re-decision is an emotional, cognitive and behavioral process. Scripts can be changed and disbanded all together. As an adult you are free to write your own story.

-----
* if you're a reader of this blog you'll know i like to define things ;)

mankind is no island

2009-02-15T12:18:00.004Z

i'm on a roll ;)

here's a beautiful little video a friend sent me. shot entirely on a mobile phone.

A VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION

2009-02-14T18:09:00.002Z

enjoy :)

A VERY INTERESTING CONVERSATION

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, the ALMIGHTY.

He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor : You are Christian, aren't you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD Good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.
But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella.
Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from ?
Student : From . . . GOD . . .
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.
Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?
Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,
a Little Heat or No Heat.
But we don't have anything called Cold.
We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it?
In reality, Darkness isn't.
If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.
You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and
Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavour,
Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol,
Science says that You have No Brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

That student was Albert Einstein!

2009-01-27T10:05:00.001Z

creativity is the process of questioning oneself.

2009-01-12T13:12:00.001Z

how would you behave if you were in love with life?

thank you :-) (one and all)

2009-01-03T17:05:00.003Z

what a nice start to '09. i came back after a little hiatus to find that i'd been given my first blog award! thank you so much to Cool Deep at Essence of Life for this - it's great to feel appreciated :-D

and, in the tradition of these Awards, i would like to pass this one on to a very good friend of mine, molly at The Molly Blog. in addition to being a fantastic friend and colleague, she has a rockin' blog that never fails to make me laugh or think. well done molly and cheers for being you :-)

thanks too to all the readers of my blog for your interest and continued support. ive only been blogging for about 3 months, but ive found it such an unbelievably enriching and theraputuc experience. thanks for your feedback and for being there with me. as a wise man once said: "joy is nothing unless it is shared".

peace and love to you and yours for 2009. let's all make it count!!

yola x

love, shine, light

2008-12-19T19:05:00.001Z

sometimes i am tired of being a naked flame
flickering in an inner storm.

living in fear of shining,
living in fear of dying,
and forgetting what it feels like
to burn.

2008-12-04T07:54:00.005Z

Arguments are a place where we discover the sore spots beneath someone's shell

(if we look beneath the words and try to understand).

They are an opportunity to learn to be sensitive to the person's needs, and to discover how to compromise, without being submissive.

2008-11-27T10:51:00.003Z

we are all unique, individuated aspects of god consiousness...

seeking nothing more than to express ourselves as fully as possible :-)

what a day.

2008-11-05T15:58:00.006Z

wow. i woke up this morning, and ran down to turn on the news. obama won.

the sun was shining here in ireland all day. everywhere i looked, people were celebrating the news. i saw something happening. for the first time, in a long time, people were feeling the blossoming of hope. the dawning of the thought - 'maybe things are going to work out.'

obama has a lot of work to do, and yeah, he's just a man, just one man.. but man! somethings happening.

the thing is not to place all our hopes in this one man, who's just a man. but to take the hope that he's has inspired in us, and apply it to our own lives. WE have the power to bring about mass change! each person has it within them to change their own lives.

and, as Paulo Coelho once said "When one person changes, the world changes."

true that, yo :-)

i happened to be listening to this song as i wrote this, so i thought i would share. enjoy!

2008-10-29T16:52:00.001Z

live like nobodys watching,

feel the rhythm of life flow.

open your eyes -

and let go.

falling

2008-10-27T19:43:00.010Z

It's not just the time you spend with another person that determines the nature of the relationship - it's the spaces in between. How you reflect back, and reinterpret the hello, the goodbye, the stolen moments.

When you're in each other's company, the simple fact of the other person's breath beside you, can assure you that for these few hours, they are yours. With that, that walls we put up to protect ourselves come down, and we allow ourselves to connect.

But with a few days, some faceless communication, or some silence, you begin to doubt the understanding you had of your experience. You rip things apart with your mind, and construct another reality from the pieces. A reality built from the fear that you're feeling, that then pollutes your behaviour towards the other.

Can a relationship survive, or even get off the ground, if, when together, time feels like a raindrop gathering in the corner of a leaf, and the world blurs as you surge through space, towards earth, and the inevitable moment of separation...

and then, upon separation, you're unsure of where you fell from, why it happened, or what it meant?

But then again, raindrops don't question things - they just fall.